


Concordance

by woodironbone



Series: Escape from Angelville [2]
Category: Preacher (TV)
Genre: (it's VERY mild tho), (mostly) Clothed Sex, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Communication, Cussing, Emotional Support, Eventual Smut, Explicit Consent, F/M, Femdom, Fix-It of Sorts, Gay Panic, Internalized Homophobia, Jesse Custer's Big Bi Awakening, Kissing, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Multi, POV Jesse Custer, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Post-Coital Cuddling, Present Tense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 12:42:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15267744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woodironbone/pseuds/woodironbone
Summary: A direct follow-up to Predicamental. After fleeing Angelville and working out the bulk of their issues (see previous), the gang gets to a motel for what remains of the night, and Jesse struggles to come to terms with his newfound bisexuality. Cassidy helps with conversation, Tulip helps with schemes. Spoilers through 3x03 (technically).





	Concordance

**Author's Note:**

> SO this season is obliterating my soul right now and god help me, I'm gonna try to keep writing about these kids on this divergent path, because I need it. I need one very specific thing in this life, and it's found family practicing emotionally healthy communication.
> 
> This story picks up directly after Predicamental, so if you haven't read that you might wanna do so first as it provides all the context for this one. Thanks again to [FitzKreiner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FitzKreiner) and [salvage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/salvage) for their help and encouragement.
> 
> Content Notes:  
> -Jesse touches very lightly on his own internalized homophobia and interrogates it throughout  
> -there is a lot of discussion of pegging, but no actual pegging (YET)  
> -Smut contains: mostly clothed sex, Domme Tulip/sub Jesse/ultra-sub Cassidy, masturbating while watching, a blowjob that gets increasingly and consensually rough, a footjob (through clothes), a brief handjob, and entirely voluntary come swallowing

 

 

†

 

They stop at a motel about an hour’s drive from the bar. It’s getting close to sun-up now and they didn’t exactly cover their tracks in the course of their break-in, so maybe further away would have been wiser, but after all that’s happened none of them is in the mood to spend any more time in the car than is absolutely necessary. The drive was almost entirely silent, the air thick with a new kind of mutual tension. Everything is different now, a whole uncertain world opened up between them, one they’ve barely given themselves any time to explore. None of them are equipped to handle it, especially not stuck in a car.

“Ah, this place looks shite, it’ll do perfect,” Cassidy had said as Tulip had pulled up to it, and he isn’t wrong. The lobby is terribly dingy, with faint musty smells, walls the color of old bones, and a carpet that hasn’t been cleaned in a long time. Cheap and very much their speed. Cassidy carries what little luggage they’ve managed to hold onto. He’s given Tulip a coat, which he swiped from God-knows-where and which is oversized even on him, in order to hide her blood-stained dress. The overall effect is not entirely unflattering but it does give her an unsavory sort of vibe. This is only compounded by the two of them hanging back while Jesse, being the least disheveled among them, gets them checked in. The clerk—Angelique, according to her nametag—is a chubby young woman with sleepy eyes and a friendly demeanor, and she asks no questions but it’s clear she has them. They look overwhelmingly suspicious, to the degree that it must seem unclear exactly what sort of shady business is being done, because the possibilities are endless. None of them can be particularly bothered to care at the moment.

“How many rooms y’all want?” she drawls, her eyes flicking between Jesse and his counterparts.

“Tw—uh…” Jesse hesitates, glancing back at them. Cassidy just shrugs, his expression obscured behind the damn sunglasses, whereas Tulip gives him a sharply pointed look. He turns back sheepishly. “Just one’ll do it.”

Angelique’s eyes slide across the three of them again. “An’ how many beds?”

“Two will do just fine,” Jesse answers a little too quick, his smile strained.

The clerk shrugs in a very particular way, as if to say _Hey, I seen weirder,_ and hands him a key. “Up the stairs and down the hall to the left,” she says. “Ain’t got any breakfast ‘cause the dang fridge is still broke, but we got coffee, and you can get food at the gas station across the parking lot.”

“Thank you kindly, ma’am.” Jesse smiles again, hoping he doesn’t look as manic and off-kilter as he feels, and shuffles back over to his companions.

 

 

The room is as to be expected: dim and cramped, the floor scratchy with equally suspect carpeting, two full size beds bookending a single end table. The dresser lining the opposite wall has a drawer missing. There’s a very old TV with no remote to be found, a closet with a single wire hanger, a small table with a single cushioned chair in the corner by the windows, and a tiny bathroom with a cracked tile floor and yellowed lighting nearer the entryway. The air here is just as musty as in the lobby, and even more sweltering. Jesse crosses the room, draws the curtains, and switches on the air conditioner, which makes an intermittent rattle that sounds like something fell inside it long ago. The air blowing into the room only seems to contribute to the overall smell, but at least it’s cold. All things considered, not bad. They’ve certainly stayed in worse places.

Tulip wastes no time making herself at home, shedding Cassidy’s coat across the nearest bed and toeing off her shoes before going to investigate the bathroom.

“At least they got all the little soaps,” she says, her voice making a tinny echo in the little room. She leans her head back out. Jesse remains by the air conditioner, while Cassidy is still hanging back in the entryway. “Something wrong, Cass?”

“Oh, I…” He shrugs. “Just been a while since we all shared a room.”

Tulip glances at Jesse, who is quick to shift his gaze elsewhere. He strips off his jacket and folds it carefully over the back of the chair before proceeding to sit on edge of the bed just beside it. The mattress is uncomfortably stiff, and creaks audibly beneath him.

“You guys are actin’ like we _didn’t_ just make out a bunch,” says Tulip, and Jesse can hear the little smirk as she says it. His shoulders tense subtly, his fingers curling against the comforter. He can still taste Cassidy on his lips.

Cassidy gives a light-hearted huff. “Well, is it any wonder? We barely said two words to each other the whole ride down here.” With his sunglasses it’s hard to tell where he’s looking, but Jesse senses it’s at him. “I was beginning to think I dreamed the whole thing.”

“What’s there to talk about?” Jesse says.

Cassidy dips his chin to peer dubiously over the sunglasses, and finally takes them off, discarding them on the dresser. “Plenty, I should think.”

“Better get on that, then,” says Tulip, tapping her hand against the doorframe of the bathroom. “I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Hang on—how come it’s always me and Jesse that have to do these little heart-to-hearts?” Cassidy protests. “I thought we were making this work all-three-of-us-together.”

Tulip raises an eyebrow at him, then looks back at Jesse. “Jesse,” she says. “You love me?”

“What?” He stares at her, bewildered. “Course I do, what’re you—”

“Cass?” She turns the same look on Cassidy, who flounders a bit before pulling himself more or less together.

“Yeah,” he says shakily. “Tulip, I—I’ve been in love with you from the moment I saw you.”

It seems like saying this might have been a huge weight off his shoulders, and like the way it just spilled out of him on cue might have left him somewhat adrift. It seems to catch Tulip entirely off guard, and she hesitates for a few beats before recovering herself and saying, “Well… that’s good, ‘cause I love you, too.”

Jesse hears a subtle but unmistakable shift in Cassidy’s breathing and glances over to see him, shoulders slumped, jaw slack, absolutely floored by something she’d already implied. Jesse doesn’t move, fearing the creak of the mattress will draw their attention, but there’s a tightness in his gut over this. As much as they’d already addressed this not two hours ago, it’s still going to take a damn lot of practice to get used to seeing Tulip and Cassidy make this kind of exchange. Watching them before—how Cassidy knew exactly how to look at her, how to kiss her—was one thing, utterly distinct to Jesse’s mind from hearing them acknowledge this kind of mutual feeling. He wonders how long Tulip has felt this way. Not since they _met_ , surely, but still… Jesse looks back at the floor, the parched carpet a dull red beneath his shiny black shoes.

“So as far as I see it, you boys are the only ones here with shit still to work out,” Tulip is saying. “And while I _could_ sit around and mediate you for however many hours it’s gonna take, I’d rather take my shower. Gotta get this damn dress off. Smells like somebody died in it.”

They each stare at her in awkward silence until she rolls her eyes. “Fuck’s sake, it was a _joke_ ,” she says. “If I can’t joke about it, who will?” She gives them little time to answer before she steps back, starting to close the bathroom door. “I’m not comin’ out until you guys are fun again. Be good.” She stops just shy of shutting the door, leaving a little gap through which she can peek at them with an incredibly coy smile. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

The door closes before anyone can ascertain what, exactly, Tulip _wouldn’t_ do in this situation. She is gently humming a Carole King song and the water is running before either Jesse or Cassidy even moves. Jesse stays put, his hands folded in his lap; eventually Cassidy slides out of his lean against the wall and drifts across the room to Jesse’s corner, slipping past him and slouching into the chair with his back against Jesse’s carefully folded jacket. It’s more crowded here than Jesse was anticipating. When Cassidy crosses his legs, his foot dangles near enough to touch.

“So,” says Cassidy, and Jesse’s attention snaps up to his face. He’s resting one elbow on the arm of the chair, his chin in his hand, smiling faintly. “At least she didn’t lock us in this time.”

“Technically she locked herself out,” says Jesse. He finds he can’t maintain eye contact, not with Cassidy just gazing at him like that, and he looks away quickly.

“Is it just me, padre,” says Cassidy, unfolding himself with a soft rustle of fabric, “or did something change between here and the bar?” He sits forward, his elbows now braced on his knees, and flutters his fingers at Jesse. “You’re brooding, mate. And don’t get me wrong now, it’s a very good look for you. Classic Jesse Custer. I’m just wondering what it is you’ve got to brood about, eh? After all that. I thought things went pretty well at the end there.”

There is, Jesse thinks, plenty for him to brood about. There’s the undiscussed issue of the Grail still being in possession of the little piece of his soul, rendering Genesis unusable; and there’s what’s looming at their backs. They’ve gotten a good distance from Angelville by now and seen no consequence, but it won’t be that simple and he knows it. Jesse knows that neither distance nor motion will make much difference in the end. Cassidy and Tulip don’t yet know the full extent of the danger they’re in, or that the danger is mostly his. Gran’ma has his compact, after all. She hasn’t used it yet, and it would be stupid to assume it’s because she doesn’t yet know they’ve gone. By now she most definitely knows, which means if she’s waiting it’s for a reason, and Jesse doesn’t want to think about what that might be. He doesn’t much want to think at all. Down that road lies only regrets.

Besides which, while all that could be a viable answer, it’s not the answer Cassidy’s looking for, nor is it the whole of it. There are more immediately pressing reasons he’s out of sorts, and he can’t avoid them with Cassidy watching and Tulip having laid down a proverbial hourglass. Jesse fidgets, picking at the cuff of his shirt, trying to put his words in order.

“Having second thoughts, are we?” Cassidy asks, his tone casual, though Jesse imagines he might detect a hint of nervousness.

“No,” says Jesse quickly. “No, it’s not that, it’s—” He huffs out an impatient sigh and forces himself to meet Cassidy’s gaze. “I don’t know how any of this… how it _works_.”

“How what works?” Cassidy’s squinting at him like he’s trying to parse this, but Jesse feels like he’s being needlessly obtuse.

“You know,” says Jesse impatiently. “This. The three of us. It’s been just me and Tulip for as long as I can remember. That’s all I understand. This is… I don’t know.”

“Right.” Cassidy leans back in his chair, stretching out a bit and looking ponderously at the wall beyond Jesse’s head. “I don’t expect Tulip’s done anything like this either.”

“Not to my _knowledge_ ,” says Jesse, unable to quell the trace of bitterness that sneaks into his voice. She got married to a damn crime boss without him ever knowing it, so who’s to say what else she got up to.

“Well, I have, on occasion,” says Cassidy. “In my experience, every combination of people is gonna have a different… you know. Thing.”

“Thing.” Jesse gives him a rather unimpressed look.

“Thing,” Cassidy confirms, mildly annoyed at the scrutiny. “Attraction. Dynamic. I don’t know, padre, I’m not a bloody… relationship counselor. It’s just more moving parts. There’s you and Tulip, loved each other since forever, all Romeo and Juliet over it, y’know, that bollocks.”

Jesse raises his eyebrows at that, but Cassidy’s barreling onward before he can muster a rebuttal.

“And there’s Tulip and me.”

“And what’s Tulip and you?” Jesse says a little coolly.

Cassidy sighs, not missing the latent hostility of the question. “I love her, Jess. Like I said, since the moment I saw her. I’d do anything for her and that’s that. You get that, don’t you? I know you’re new to this and all, but I think it’s pretty crucial that you get that.”

“No, I… I understand.” Jesse frowns at the carpet, at the dark pattern of an old stain from God knows what. “I’m sorry, Cass, I’m… I’m tryin’ here.” He continues eyeing the stain moodily, remembering the slow spread of his blood on white cloth, before he looks back at Cassidy. “The way you looked at her back there, in the bar, it was… I’ve never seen anyone look at her like that. I feel like it shoulda made me angry, but… it just felt right. Like you understand.”

Cassidy seems surprised by this, shifts his position in the chair and smiles sheepishly. He might be blushing—hard to tell in the low light. “Well, see, that’s good. That’s… that’s what it needs to be. Like we all have our own…” He waves his hand vaguely.

“Thing,” Jesse supplies, eyebrow arched.

“Right.” Cassidy shrugs. “But we also have to be invested in each other’s… Look, I’m not writing an advice column here, just, d’you see what I’m saying, Jess?”

“I think so.” Jesse can appreciate the difficulty inherent in discussing this, even if he’d prefer a fuller explanation. The basic idea—that they all have to make space for each other, and for each other’s feelings about each other—is clear enough, and perhaps it should have been obvious. He allows his posture to relax a little, sitting back with his shoulders not quite so hunched. “So what about you an’ me?”

“Aye, that’d be the thing Tulip wants us to work out.” Again, Cassidy smiles at him, not so sheepish as fond. “You like havin’ me around, eh?”

Jesse returns the smile very faintly, his eyes wandering across the dull walls to the insufferably idyllic painting hanging over the TV. A cottage, a flowering field, drab colors and no life. “I, uh, haven’t really worked anything out beyond that.”

“Well, you didn’t seem so confused when you wore me face off all three times back there.” Cassidy’s smile becomes more of a grin, toothy and sly.

Jesse flinches away from the remark—he’s never heard that particular turn of phrase before, but context makes it clear enough—and immediately wishes he hadn’t. He glances up in time to see the smile slip halfway from Cassidy’s face.

“That made sense at the time,” says Jesse, fighting against a growing swell of internal discomfort.

Cassidy hesitates, his voice taking on a slightly colder quality: “But not now.”

“That’s not what I—” Jesse runs a hand roughly through his hair. He feels itchy all over, every instinct he has driving him to flee this conversation as fast as possible and by any means necessary. There is no viable escape, however; the only way out is through. He draws a steadying breath. “Look, the way I was raised—I’m a West Texas preacher, right? Taught by a _stern_ West Texas preacher. This isn’t _normal_ for me, never has been. I’m not saying I’m—Even as a kid I knew it was small-minded to judge people for their… well, you know.” He makes a vague swirling gesture with his hand, hoping Cassidy’s better at translating these sorts of motions than he is. He’s frustrated at his inability to finish a thought, his childish aversion to words he’s been taught to find scandalous, but he can only take so many steps at a time. “I know that’s wrong,” he reiterates, “judging people for that. Growing up in Angelville, I saw so much more, the worst of humanity, and judging people for something simple like that—who people _are—_ that didn’t make sense. But it’s a whole different thing to feel it, to… to be a part of it.”

Saying so much at one time, without pretense or obfuscation, is exhausting. It reminds him too, uncomfortably, of the moment when Cassidy had revealed himself for what he was, thrown himself upon Jesse’s mercy and gone up in flames without any kind of a guarantee that mercy would come. Jesse’s not sure he’s ever taken the time to appreciate the courage it must have taken to do something like that, especially given how he’d been acting then. At the time he’d been too horrified to think much of anything about it at all. The knowledge that Cassidy trusted him with that much intensity, and that he came dangerously close to squandering and losing that trust, is an added weight on his already sagging shoulders. He leans down, rubbing at the tension in the back of his neck. He has to make this right, somehow, no matter how far out of his comfort zone he ends up falling.

“I don’t know what we think is gonna happen when Tulip comes back through that door,” he says slowly, his eyes returning to Cassidy’s, “but whatever it is, I don’t know if I’ll be…” He cuts himself off, struck with distaste for his own defeatist attitude. It just comes out automatic, even after all that. Clearing his throat, he amends: “I _want_ to be ready for it.”

Cassidy’s expression has softened by now, and he’s been periodically nodding along as Jesse fumbled his way to that conclusion. Now that it’s done, he sits there quietly, taking a moment to consider his response. There’s another thing Jesse almost let himself miss—he’s always seen Cass as impulsive to the exclusion of all else, but here he is, taking such care with his words, as he has ever since things got uncomfortably personal in that freezer. How could he have gone so long without recognizing this side of him, and what the hell else has he let slip by?

“I don’t want to push you into anything, Jesse,” Cassidy says eventually. “And neither does Tulip.”

At that, Jesse huffs out a laugh. “You sure about that?”

“C’mon, if she knew you were getting cold feet—”

Defensiveness clicks into place like an old, worn mechanism. “I’m not getting cold feet,” Jesse says sharply.

“No?” Cassidy tilts his head, giving Jesse an assessing look. “And what if Tulip comes outta there wantin’ the three of us to shag this out, just like that? How would you feel about that, then?”

“I—” Jesse swallows thickly, his mouth impossibly dry. As hard as he is trying to actively unlearn this shit, he can’t get past the damnable reflex of aversion at the thought of anything so intimate. It isn’t a lack of _desire_ , it’s something deeper and more insidious. How does he just get shed of something like that, and how does he do it quick? “It’s not that I don’t want to,” he says hastily.

“Oh no?” Cassidy lifts an eyebrow. “D’you wanna tell your face?”

“I _want_ to make this work, Cass,” Jesse insists, and Cassidy can probably plainly see that this is mostly directed at himself. “I’m done making you two wait around for me, I’m done treatin’ you like…” He can’t quite muster the word _expendables_. He never saw them like that, never, and saying it would feel like a lie, even knowing that’s how they both felt. That’s how he _made_ them feel, which is more the damn point than his good intentions, but still, saying it out loud… He sighs and switches tacks: “It’s important to Tulip. And it’s important to you.” He hesitates. Maybe he shouldn’t assume anything about Cassidy’s feelings here. Cassidy loves _Tulip_ , and for all Jesse knows he could just be a… convenient bonus. He chews his lip in brief consternation. “Right?”

It’s obvious Cassidy hadn’t been expecting the question, had apparently been willing to accept the assessment and move on. “Y-yeah,” he says, taken aback. “Of course. Important.”

Jesse stares at him until finally he gives up the façade with a shrug of surrender. “I don’t know, padre,” he sighs. “What does ‘important’ mean, anyway? Don’t forget, you’ve only just become an option on my menu, before tonight you were on the bloody secret menu where they keep all the weird shite. I could daydream, but… this is new to me, too.”

Despite his general trepidation, Jesse can’t resist the hint of a smile at that metaphor. “I dunno,” he says hesitatingly. “Important like… like you want to see this through.” The air conditioner rattles loudly, a sound that sets Jesse’s teeth on edge. This is difficult enough without random intrusions. Struggling to regain his train of thought, he says, “Like you, uh… You want to make this… I don’t know.”

“Officially consummated,” says Cassidy rather lackadaisically.

Jesse is reluctant to accept such a presumptuous label for it, but it’s not exactly inaccurate. “…Yeah.”

Cassidy looks away, gazing absently at the wall. “Yeah,” he says. After a long, ponderous moment, he adds quietly, “I _would_ like that.”

Nodding to himself, Jesse lets his eyes wander until he’s half-focused on Cassidy’s knee, skin visible through the sizable hole in his jeans. There’s ink there, too, something that might be the point of a blade curving over the joint. He’s seen the tattoos covering Cassidy’s legs before, but never taken the time to really notice them.

Stirring himself, he redirects himself to Cassidy’s face to find him looking again, and says haltingly, “Right, well… I don’t want to put this off. So whatever needs to happen for me to… to get there, to get used to this, I want to do it.”

Cassidy nods, though he’s eyeing Jesse with scrutiny, like he knows there’s more at the root of it, which of course there is. “ _But_ ,” he prompts.

Jesse sighs heavily. No avoiding this any longer, much as he’d desperately like to. “But,” he concedes. “It’s just I—I’ve never—”

“Never done it with a man before,” Cassidy supplies.

“ _Yeah_ ,” says Jesse, openly grateful he didn’t have to actually say it. Pathetic—acting like a damn teenager, all raging hormones and not knowing what to do with himself.

“Well, that’s no trouble. Everyone’s gotta start somewhere, do they not?” Cassidy, for his part, seems unconcerned by either the dilemma or Jesse’s awkwardness around it. “It’s not so different, you know. Same principle and all, figuring out where all the good buttons are. Pick it up right quick, I’m sure you will.”

“You think?” Jesse tugs uncomfortably at his collar. By now the air conditioning has made the room pleasantly cool, but there’s still sweat trickling down his back.

“All right. Let me ask you this,” says Cassidy. “Have you and Tulip ever done anything…” He gestures unhelpfully, circling his hand around while searching for the right word. Eventually he lands on, “… _experimental_.”

Jesse frowns. “You _know_ I haven’t.”

Cassidy waves him off. “No, no, I don’t mean like this, I mean like… For example, has Tulip ever…” He pauses to give Jesse a long considering look, like he’s trying to decide something, before he makes a face Jesse can only read as _fuck it_ and finishes, “…stuck anything up your arse?”

And just like that, the conversation is blown fully out of his depth. Jesse sits up straight, staring at him, his mouth hanging open slightly. Cassidy squints back like he’s trying to discern what this reaction means. “Anything?” he says. “A finger?” Slowly, pointedly, he extends his index and middle fingers. “Maybe two?”

“Is there a point here, Cass?” snaps Jesse.

“The point is, padre, I’m trying to get an idea of what I’m in for, so to speak.” Cassidy curls his fingers back in. “If that’s all right with you.”

“Look, we’ve—” Jesse blurts, only growing more embarrassed by the second, “we’ve done all sorts of shit, we’ve played around, like—”

“Yeah, I’m not questioning that, Jesse, I’m sure you’re a very rowdy fuck.” Cassidy sits forward again, forcing Jesse to look him dead in the eye. “I’m just trying to find out, for my own edification, whether or not it is you’ve ever had anything up your arse.”

“No, I haven’t!” Maddeningly, Jesse can feel his face flushing. “Does that satisfy you?”

Cassidy smirks and settles back again, the picture of calm. “Well, I can tell you who it _doesn’t_.”

Jesse’s lips moves wordlessly for a moment before he finally gets to his feet, needing to put some distance between them, or to burn off some energy. He paces. “Well, I’ve been doing just fine without it.”

“Well of course you have, people do just fine without all _sorts_ of things they’ve never tried before,” says Cassidy in exasperation. He points emphatically at Jesse like this is some sort of absurd lecture seminar. “But I’m telling you, padre, once you try it, there’s no going back. The prostate is a bloody gift, and you’re missing out, man.”

“For fuck’s sake, Cass—”

“Aye, exactly right. _Y_ _our_ fuck’s sake.”

Jesse stops pacing and gives him an absolutely withering look, and Cassidy meets it with another sheepish grin. “Couldn’t resist.”

Refusing to dignify the juvenile humor with a response, Jesse turns away and stares about the room as if it’ll help him here, knowing full well there is nothing, no diversion from this conversation. Tulip’s shower is still running and Cassidy is still watching him. He can feel the stare on his back.

“It’s like I said, padre,” says Cassidy after Jesse fails to grapple with the difficult silence, “we aren’t trying to push you into anything. This is only gonna work if we’re all, y’know, on something approaching the same page.”

Jesse pivots slowly on his heel and finds Cassidy gazing at him with the same earnestness he’d seen briefly in the freezer, and Jesse feels a bit of the embarrassment drain out of him, replaced by a flutter of something uncertain in his chest. He and Cassidy have been at distant odds for so long now, it’s strange seeing him like this. Strange and strangely comforting. He takes a breath, forcing himself to calm down.

“I appreciate that, Cass,” he says softly. “And I… I’ll get there, I just need some time to…” he folds his hands together, an awkward little fidget, “get used to it all, I guess.”

Cassidy nods, studying him with a sort of sleepy expression, a small, fond smile playing at his lips. There’s that flutter again, and Jesse shifts his weight like he means to move, holding his position for now.

“It’s only been, what…” Cassidy checks the bedside clock, “an hour and a half since we hated each other? Maybe two? A lot’s happened, Jess. I’d say we’ve both earned a little time to get used to it all.” He stretches out, draping himself languidly across the chair, looking cozy enough to sleep there. He keeps his eyes on Jesse for a deep conversational lull before he says, “Maybe we should get on that, perhaps.”

Jesse understands well enough what’s being suggested here, and he would be lying if he said he hadn’t been thinking about it. He glances at the bathroom door. “Should we wait for—”

“She said not to do anything she _wouldn’t_ do,” says Cassidy. “Now I know double negatives are tricky little bastards, but that sounds like an endorsement to me.”

“Does it,” says Jesse, smirking faintly. He takes his time walking back.

“I’m just sayin’, padre, on the list of things Tulip _wouldn’t_ do right now, I get the feeling _not_ making out with at least one of us is pretty high up th—oh.” Cassidy goes abruptly silent as Jesse reaches him, leans down, and kisses him. The angle is awkward, might be easier if Cassidy were sitting up and Jesse had opted to climb onto his lap, but Jesse suspects he’d feel too ridiculous if he tried. Instead he rests his hand tentatively on Cassidy’s jaw, tipping him up to meet him. It’s softer than it was at the bar, tender and slow, and when he pulls back, his back still bent and their faces still close, he feels lightheaded and unbalanced. Cassidy stares at him with heavily lidded eyes, his lips parted, breathless and quiet. For a moment it seems like they’re stuck there, and then the air conditioning crashes into the silence with an unceremonious clank.

Jesse straightens up, tugging on his shirt.

“Well, that was bloody romantic of you,” Cassidy remarks.

“Felt weird,” Jesse mutters.

“Yeah, of course it did. That’s how you kiss Tulip.” Cassidy braces his hands on the arms of the chair and levers himself up slowly. Jesse doesn’t move away, allowing Cassidy to step fully into his personal space. Cassidy seems pleased, and settles his fingers lightly at Jesse’s waist, lowering his voice slightly: “D’you not remember what I said about how we have to figure out our own thing? Now don’t get me wrong, I love a good romantic snog, wouldn’t mind doing it again sometime. But Jesse, you can barely _talk_ about this yet. I’m not Tulip to you, I’m… I don’t know what. That’s what you’ve gotta figure out.”

“What am I to you?” Jesse asks, meeting his eyes with greater ease than he has so far. Somehow, standing this close, speaking so intimately and yet so matter-of-fact, the whole thing seems to make more sense, the pieces of it settling gradually into place.

Cassidy doesn’t seem to know how to answer at first. He lets his eyes flick over Jesse before raising a hand to his chest, fingertips sliding gently under the buttoned partition of his shirt. “Well, you’re _hot_ ,” he says, snorting at his own line before his expression softens once again. “And you’re me best mate. May not always treat me like it, but when you do…” He seems to lose his nerve then, and he laughs it off quickly, dropping his hands back to his side. “I dunno, Jess. Sorta lookin’ forward to figuring it out me-self.”

Propelled by impulse and a warm tug originating deep in his chest, Jesse grabs him as he did in the freezer, each hand clamped tight around his upper arms, and kisses him again, fast and hard. Cassidy grins back against him, his hands snagging right back onto Jesse’s waist, fingers curling into the belt loops of his trousers and the tucked-in folds of his shirt. He still tastes like cigarettes and sweat, and the scratchiness of his stubble against Jesse’s close-trimmed beard is still a very new, somewhat unnerving sensation, but Cassidy’s lips are amazingly soft despite his overall angularity, and as Jesse had previously observed, he knows _very_ well what he’s doing. Cassidy’s tongue darts into his mouth, quick and thief-like, and then he catches Jesse’s lower lip between his teeth and sucks gently before releasing it with a wet pop. Jesse pushes him back then, shoving him against the bed so he topples back onto it. Cassidy sprawls back with surprise but no displeasure, still grinning up at him, his face flushed.

“Now, that’s more like it,” he says, a bit breathless.

Swallowing every doubting impulse, Jesse sinks forward, climbing onto the bed and on top of Cassidy, who scoots back until they’re both more in the center of it. Cassidy lounges rather luxuriantly, gazing up at him with an expression Jesse’s never seen on him before, full of open want. Something deep in Jesse’s gut pitches and roils at the sight of it.

“S’all right, Jess,” Cassidy murmurs, seeming to recognize his trepidation. He reaches up and drags his fingers lightly across Jesse’s chest. “It’s just me.” He settles one hand at the curve of Jesse’s shoulder, tracing up toward the back of his neck, then hesitates, starting to pull his hands away. “Do you wanna stop?”

“No.” Jesse catches his wrists and pushes them down, pinning him to the mattress. Seeing Cassidy look at him like that, it alarmed him, but it felt good, too. He latches hard onto that part of it, stoking the flames of his own desire into something fierce and instinctual. There isn’t a trace of doubt when he says, “No, I don’t.”

Cassidy’s breath quickens at being held down, and his lips curve back into a smile. “Good.”

Jesse kisses him again, holding nothing back. The freedom inherent in it, at being allowed, encouraged, to be with someone who isn’t Tulip, at _wanting_ that at all, is nearly overwhelming when he really gives himself space for it. His grip tightens around Cassidy’s wrists as they feed off each other’s energy, the kiss growing deeper and more intense by the moment. Cassidy starts moving beneath him, little twitches at first, then full-on writhing in his grasp. He moves nothing like Tulip, who holds herself still and steady, taut and controlled; she grips back just as hard, harder even, and when she fights for dominance she fights to win. Cassidy, by great contrast, is loose and pliable; he can’t stop squirming, struggling only for the performative thrill of it. If he wanted to dislodge Jesse, he could, handily. He _enjoys_ this. Jesse would never have expected that to feel so… exhilarating.

Heart pounding, half-gasping for breath, he breaks the kiss and doesn’t give himself even a second to think. Thinking will drown him; impulse is his guide now in this uncharted territory, and he can’t afford to resist it. He leans down to bury his face against the long line of Cassidy’s throat, mouthing at the soft skin there, no teeth yet, just enough to drag a startled moan out of him. Cassidy twists one of his hands free and wraps his arm tight around Jesse’s back as if to signal he shouldn’t stop; in immediate response, Jesse shifts his weight to slide one of his knees in between Cassidy’s legs. Cassidy allows him without hesitation, rolling his hips up to meet him and gasping wetly against Jesse’s ear, fingers curling into his thick black hair.

Jesse doesn’t know where this is escalating to, an intrusive realization that slips in like a knife between his ribs. Just a flicker of awareness, that’s all it takes—just the subtle pinprick of a reminder that _actually, he has no idea what he’s doing_ , and he freezes up, even with Cassidy rutting against his thigh and breathing hot against his cheek. Jesse can’t recover quick enough; it only takes an instant for Cassidy to realize, and he stops what he’s doing just as quickly and flops back down, staring up at Jesse with a slightly glazed expression.

“You all right, padre?” he says between heavy breaths. “Moving too fast for ya?”

“No, I just—” He catches himself before he can arrange his thoughts, looking over his shoulder toward the bathroom door. In a lull between rattles of the air conditioner, with Cassidy’s breath no longer in his ear, he realizes first that the water’s stopped, and second that he has no idea how long it’s been off.

He has little time to wonder. The door opens before he can decide on a course of action, and Tulip steps out wearing nothing but a towel around her torso and another wrapped around her hair. She stands there, staring at him as he scrambles back off of Cassidy, acting idiotically like he’s been caught don’t something wrong.

“Don’t stop on my account,” she says even as he stumbles right off the bed. She rolls her eyes upward, looking profoundly put-upon. “Shit, Jesse, an’ just when things were getting interesting, from the looks of it.”

“Tulip!” Cassidy’s head pops up as he remains otherwise sprawled. “You really never pegged this man?”

Jesse throws him an incredulous look before his eyes dart back to Tulip, who’s just standing there with her hands on her hips, blinking at Cassidy.

“He never asked?” she says with a shrug.

Cassidy groans and drops his head back down. “Jesus Christ. I can’t believe I’m being denied the almighty gift that would be Tulip in a strap-on because Mr. West Texas over here _never thought to ask_.”

“ _Look_ ,” Jesse starts, having absolutely no idea where he’s heading with it.

“That’s at the top of your list, huh?” says Tulip. She doesn’t seem put off by any of this, far from it; rather she’s eyeing Cassidy with a private little smirk, seeming amused, perhaps even intrigued.

“I mean it’s… it’s well bloody up there,” says Cassidy to the ceiling. “I don’t have a list. At least not a numbered one. Jesse, you’re telling me you’ve never thought about Tulip wearing a cock?”

“ _No_!” Jesse says in a rather higher-than-normal register. “I mean—why would I think about that?!”

“Uh, because she’d look bloody amazing with it?” Cassidy props himself up on his elbows to give Jesse an unimpressed stare before he turns his attention on Tulip. Seeing her smile, he breaks into a grin. “See? She knows she would.”

“You think?” says Tulip sweetly. She glances at Jesse, her eyes tracing slowly over him. “What about you?”

It’s infuriating, and rather telling, how quickly he slipped back into that childish, easily-scandalized state. It’s as if the moment Tulip reemerged, he forgot how to be, how he’s trying to be; just fell right back into old habits. Makes sense, in a way. Tulip has been part of his life as he’s known it for just about ever, and she doesn’t seem to fit with these new and untested waters. But this was all her doing. She’s as much a part of that newness as Cassidy. The way they smile at each other, and the way she now turns that smile on Jesse, helps settle him somewhat. He softens, comforted by the reassuring familiarity that is Tulip trying to get a rise out of him.

“I reckon you’d look good in just about anything,” he says.

“Damn right.” She beams her approval at his assessment and takes a moment to look between them. “So, did I interrupt something? ‘Cause if y’all wanna get back to that, I sure as shit ain’t gonna stop ya.”

Jesse looks at Cassidy, feeling the weight of uncertainty creep over him, and Cassidy gazes back for a moment hauling himself up to sit cross-legged on the bed.

“Ah, I think we might’ve gotten a bit carried away,” he says casually.

Tulip raises her hand to adjust the towel covering her hair, glancing uncertainly at Jesse. “Ain’t that kinda the point?”

“It’s just this is a lot for Jesse to handle, you know? All in one night. Shit, it’s a lot for _me_ to handle. Still feels like I ought to be angry with him.”

“I’m _handlin’_ it fine,” says Jesse curtly.

“Better’n fine, padre,” says Cassidy with a little grin. “But I told you, I don’t want to rush you into anything.”

“For Christ’s sake, Cass, would you stop treatin’ me like some… teenage virgin?” Jesse knows he should appreciate the concern, and that it’s not unfounded given how they both just watched him jump up from the bed like he’d been burned, but it’s starting to grate all the same. “I told you, I’m ready.”

“No, you didn’t, you told me you’d _like_ to be. And that move you just pulled there…?” He wiggles his fingers in a loose approximation of the motion of Jesse skittering off the bed. “That didn’t say ‘ready’ to me, mate.”

Even though he was expecting it, Jesse still winces at what feels like an accusation. “I’m sorry about that,” he murmurs.

“You don’t need to be _sorry_ , Jess,” sighs Cassidy. “That’s the whole point. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready.”

“Why do you even expect yourself to be?” Tulip says, staring at Jesse with open bewilderment. “Ain’t nobody forcing you to—”

“I know that.” He can feel himself getting worked up, and he knows they can both see it.

Tulip takes another step toward him. “All that matters is doin’ what’s right for you,” she says.

“No, that’s _not_ all,” he says sharply.

“Why is this such a big deal to you?” she demands, giving him a derisive once-over. “Acting like you’ve got something to prove.”

“I _do_!”

“No you _don’t_.” Tulip rolls her eyes impatiently. “We _know_ you’re bi, Jesse.”

“ _No_ , it’s not that.” Finally, this shuts her up. He stares at the floor, and he can feel them both watching him. “Cassidy was right,” he says softly, and looks up to meet Tulip’s eyes. “I haven’t been treating you right, either of you. I lied, I left you hangin’… I thought I had all the answers, and I acted like that was the only thing that mattered. I almost lost you, and I—I think I would have deserved it.”

Tulip softens immediately, gazing up at him with surprise and a tender sort of sorrow. She reaches out to rest her hand on his arm. “Jesse,” she says, gentle and quiet.

“And after all that,” he barrels on, because he can’t bear this compassion, not yet, “you both helped me. You got me out of that place when I—I didn’t think I could. An’ we’re not out of the woods on that yet, but… but I don’t wanna think about that right now, I want to be here, with you. I want to do this _right_.”

Tulip keeps her hand on his arm, squeezes gently, her eyes flitting between his. The smile that crosses her face is fleeting and sad, the sort she gives him when she’s trying to hide how deeply she’s been touched by something. He smiles back faintly, for once feeling relief instead of anxiety over having said so much.

“You don’t _owe_ us this, Jesse,” she says. “That’s not how it works.”

“No, I… I know.” He reaches up and covers her hand with his. “It’s not that.”

This time her smile is a little more playful. “So what’s it like, then?”

“It’s…” He stalls out. Words are tangling up again; he can feel his grip on verbal clarity slipping. He rallies, his fingers curling gently around Tulip’s hand. “It’s just, you both deserve better from me. And I want to show you I can be better. For so long I treated you both like you weren’t important. Like you aren’t the two most important people in the world to me.”

The moment after he’s said it, his breath comes in shaky. Feels terrifying to admit something like that out loud. Tulip hears its like often enough, but Cassidy… He glances over to find him frowning as if confused, or maybe suspicious.

“Both of you,” Jesse reiterates. He’s still not sure what he means, and the urge to qualify it comes cutting swiftly through the overall thrust of what he’s trying to say. “Cassidy, I… I don’t say this enough, but you’re my best friend.”

And just like that, the moment is shattered. It was a stupid thing to say at such a moment, and Jesse knows it, but what he’s not expecting is Cassidy to wrinkle his nose and respond, “You’ve never said that.”

Jesse opens his mouth and shuts it again, wholly taken aback. “Well, sure I have,” he protests.

“Not once.”

For fuck’s sake. Jesse’s jaw tightens, not sure if he’s annoyed or just uneasy. Did he really omit something that critical? How good can Cassidy’s memory really be, with all those drugs he’s constantly on? “I _must’ve_ said it at least once.”

“Oh my _god_ ,” Tulip interrupts. “Jesse, did you really just drop all of that great shit you just said to tell the guy you’re trying to convince us you wanna have _sex_ with that he’s your _b_ _est friend_?”

“Which he never _has_ said before,” Cassidy adds.

“That is the lamest shit I ever heard,” Tulip concludes.

“It’s _true_!” Jesse protests, only digging his hole deeper and unable to stop. “What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to _stop_.” Tulip moves her hand from his arm to chest, a light touch, but firm in intent. “Quit while you’re ahead.”

“I appreciate you sayin’ it now, I guess, for what it’s worth,” says Cassidy, seeming more or less mollified.

“ _Jesse_.” Tulip seizes his attention with a serious look. “Is this really about making up for all that time you spent being a dick to us?”

Jesse falters, wondering if there’s any way to _avoid_ making it sound like that. “No,” he says. “It’s not that.”

“Good.” She pats his chest. “‘Cause that was great an’ all. But you don’t have to do this tonight, right this second. And you _don’t_ have to prove anything.”

“We could just have a cuddle,” Cassidy offers.

“Sure, we could do that.” Tulip nods, seeming perfectly warm to the idea, but she continues studying Jesse. He’s not sure what precisely his face is doing, but whatever it is, she seems to see something in it. She stands up a little straighter, eyes narrowing in consideration.

“You’re horny,” she says eventually.

“Yes,” spills out of him.

“You really just wanna have sex right the fuck now.”

“I really do.” Jesse feels breathless at the admission, stupid and simple as it is. All that was worth saying, and he’s glad he said it even if he botched it at the end, but it wasn’t really the answer to _why_ he wants this to happen right now, and true to her nature, Tulip just cut right down to the center of it without much trouble at all.

“You’re _nervous_ ,” she continues, “because you’ve never done anything like this before.”

“Of course I’m nervous,” he sputters. “What if I screw it up, what if I—what if I do something wrong? I don’t even know where to _start_.”

“Shh.” She lifts a finger to his lips, then slides her hand back down to his chest, tapping her fingers against him thoughtfully and wearing an expression of serious concentration. Lips pursed, brow furrowed. Jesse feels like he could melt over the sight of it. She’s so beautiful.

“Hmm,” she says after a moment. “Well I think we should be able to figure out a way to make this work for everyone.” She leans around to look past Jesse’s shoulder. “Cassidy?”

Cassidy shrugs. “Yeah, I’d quite like a fuck,” he says. “If we can… what you said.” His expression shifts, gets a bit muted, like his thoughts are wandering. Distantly, he murmurs, “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

“Well, I have an idea.” Tulip looks back at Jesse and smiles—this time it’s more than playful, a little curl at the edges of her mouth, just a tiny sliver of teeth. This time Jesse might describe it as _devious_. “Do you trust me?”

He knows she’s about to pull something on both of them, but he doesn’t care. The relief at being taken at his word, and at Cassidy’s acquiescence, is too great. He gazes fondly at her and says, “You know I do. ‘Til the end of the world.”

She makes a soft little hum of approval and steps back. “Sit down,” she says casually, gesturing at the edge of the bed. After he does so, she adds, “And take off that shirt, you look ridiculous.”

He hesitates, then chuckles faintly, his fingers going to his collar. It’ll be a relief to get that off, at least. As he unbuttons the shirt slowly, Tulip steps away from him, wandering over to where their luggage has been left on the floor. She picks up her bag and sets it on the other bed, unzipping it and debating the various garments therein. As Jesse—and Cassidy, he can tell by the audible hitch in his breath—watch her, she glances over her shoulder at the both of them and slowly, deliberately unwraps the towel from her torso, letting it slip down from her soft, smooth skin.

Jesse stares at her, frozen with his own shirt half-off, his mouth suddenly parched. He can hear Cassidy breathing, subtly heavier than normal.

Again, she glances at them—first Cassidy, then Jesse—and smiles to herself before she tosses the towel onto their bed, right next to Jesse. He looks at it, startled, then back to her, curious and intrigued. She’s already turned back to her clothes, selecting a short silk robe patterned with pink flowers and slipping it on, tying the belt loose around her waist to let it hang open around her shoulders. It’s just barely long enough to reach her thighs. She slips on a pair of panties after that, quick and perfunctory, and turns around, surveying the wreckage of the two of them with deep satisfaction.

Jesse clears his throat and finishes taking off his shirt, laying it beside him—apart from the towel, which seems like it’s been tossed there for a reason. He leaves his undershirt on, deciding not to take any more steps until instructed.

Tulip is happy to take her sweet time, fixing the towel on her head to keep it more snugly in place, then leisurely crossing the room to the table and chair. She lifts Jesse’s coat from the chair and lays it on the table instead, then drags the chair over until it’s directly in front of Jesse, braced against the dresser. She slides into it, studying the gap between them like she’s estimating something—she’s not close enough to touch him unless she stretches all the way out, but that doesn’t seem to be a factor. She nudges the chair just a bit closer, and then stands up.

“Cassidy,” she says.

Jesse hears him make a noise, a little exhalation, like he’s somehow surprised to be called on. He shuffles off the bed and comes obediently over to her.

She reaches out and curls her fingers into his loose-fitting, ridiculous, brightly-colored tank top, and she draws him in between her and Jesse, close enough that she has to lean her head back to look up at him.

“You really fell in love with me the moment we met?” she says.

He nods like he’s in a trance, just gazing down at her. “Yeah.”

“I threw you out a window,” she says flatly.

“It was great.” His tone is soft and sheepish, and Jesse can’t stop looking at him, how different he is now.

Tulip runs her hand down Cassidy’s chest like she’s feeling him out, her fingers drifting lazily to his side and wandering down to his hip while he stands very still, breathing shallowly. She keeps her eyes on his, watching him intently. She’s looked at Jesse like that before, and now, seeing it directed elsewhere, he feels the same tug of arousal deep in his gut.

“Sorry it took us so long,” says Tulip, and for just a moment Jesse can see a tiny crack in her resolve, the tenderness in her that she so rarely lets show.

Cassidy seems to falter at that, and he dips his head down as though embarrassed. He makes a couple aborted attempts to speak before Tulip grabs the low collar of his shirt to tug him down, standing on her toes to meet him, and kisses him.

Reflexively, Jesse looks away, but he catches himself, turns himself back. He watches them, the way Cassidy’s hands trail gingerly along her waist, the way his fingers curl slowly, the way Tulip leads him in it and grips him tight, poised to to climb him like a damn tree. She could, too. When she releases him, he’s so dazed he wobbles a bit, and she’s just grinning and grinning.

“You trust me, Cass?” she says.

“Oh yeah,” he breathes without hesitation.

“Good.” She steps neatly back from him and settles down into the chair, lounging like an empress. “Turn around and get down on your knees.”

The air conditioner doesn’t allow them silence in that moment, but the impact is just the same. Jesse feels like the wind’s been knocked out of him as he belatedly realizes what she’s been setting up. Cassidy seems frozen for a moment before he hastily complies, turning toward Jesse and sinking down before him. Their eyes meet, and Jesse imagines he might look shell-shocked, but Cassidy looks just like he did when he’d been pinned down, open and wanting. He scoots closer, and automatically, without even thinking about it, Jesse opens his legs a little wider to welcome him.

“Now,” says Tulip, audibly pleased with the situation. “This is something I know for a fact Jesse enjoys. And he don’t get it as often as he might like.”

Cassidy doesn’t manage—or perhaps doesn’t try—to stop himself from snorting. Jesse blinks at Tulip, and she shrugs with a little mockery of contrition. “It’s not my favorite thing to do,” she says, unbothered. She stretches out one smooth, bare leg and nudges Cassidy delicately in the shoulder with her foot. “What about you, Cass?”

Cassidy’s breath catches when she touches him, and he twists around to look at her. “I happen to be _very_ good at it,” he says, sounding quite proud of himself.

“Y’know, that doesn’t surprise me one bit.” She arches an eyebrow. “Mouth like that, people’d probably do anything to shut you up.”

Far from looking offended, Cassidy grins as he turns back to Jesse. “Mm, they probably would,” he agrees, his eyes lingering heavily on Jesse’s. Jesse feels something turn over in his stomach, opens his mouth to speak and can’t make a sound but for a shuddering breath.

“So, does this work for you boys?” Tulip says, and despite the playfulness of her tone, the seriousness of the question is clear. “‘Cause if it don’t, you just gotta say.”

“Oh, this works,” says Cassidy immediately, his voice dropping to a gravelly register. When Jesse can’t find his voice for a few extra beats, Cassidy hesitates and says, “Jesse—if you don’t want to, we don’t h—”

Again, he moves without thinking, the only object to stop Cassidy from talking. Jesse reaches out and sets his fingers lightly at Cassidy’s cheek, his thumb at his lips. Cassidy’s voice dies instantly in his throat, his lips parting at the touch. Jesse holds his hand there, stroking his thumb slowly across his mouth. His lips are dry, his breath coming in quick little bursts.

“I want to,” says Jesse firmly, softly. “I want this.” He swallows with some difficulty, acutely aware of his own pulse. “I want _you_.”

Cassidy’s mouth tics up in a smile that’s almost surprised, like he still can’t believe this is happening to him. Jesse hovers there for a moment, then pulls his hand back.

“Good,” says Tulip, sounding quite pleased. She gets up long enough to nudge the chair forward a little, until it’s almost right up against Cassidy’s back, effectively wedging him in place. “This okay?” she says.

He can barely speak, but he nods feverishly. Jesse suspects neither of them is quite sure what Tulip’s angle is, but with her presentation it doesn’t much matter.

Tulip slides back into the chair and makes herself comfortable, curled up with her feet on the seat. With the towel wrap still on her head she looks like some kind of queen, and her general demeanor only reinforces that. She eyes them up and down before finally settling on Jesse, and says, “Go on, Cass. Show him what you can do.”

Jesse is still for only a second before his hand goes to his belt, unfastening it with trembling fingers, pulling it out and tossing it onto the bed behind him. He unbuttons and unzips his trousers, shifting somewhat awkwardly as he eases his hardening cock out. Cassidy wastes no time, his hands sliding onto Jesse’s thighs, stopping him in his tracks. Cassidy moves with agonizing care, impulsive only until he sees fit, it seems—leaning in closer and closer until Jesse can feel the heat of his breath amid the dense, wiry curls of hair between his legs.

The moment seems to hang still in the air. Cassidy inhales deep, his eyes fluttering briefly shut before he raises them to meet Jesse’s wide open stare. Again, he grins and licks his lips, and without any further ceremony he wraps his hand around the base of Jesse’s cock and takes it into his mouth.

Jesse pitches forward with a gruff yell, all that anticipation and yet somehow profoundly unprepared for the actual moment of contact. Tulip may have oversold how much _not_ getting a blowjob is a problem for him—he’s an adult and he relationships are based on mutual compromise and all that—but _fuck_ this is good, and once again, Cassidy is quick to demonstrate that his extra time on this earth has left him with heightened aptitude, because he is, indeed, very fucking good at this. One hand still kneading at Jesse’s thigh, the other squeezing him in a gentle rhythm, he doesn’t rush it, just teases Jesse toward the peak of arousal. He licks tortuously slow strokes up the underside of the shaft, swirls his tongue around the head, just playing with him for now. When he looks up again, finding Jesse’s eyes, the effect is electric; Jesse realizes that once past that initial cry, he’s been keeping himself on lockdown, and it bursts out of him the moment Cassidy _looks_ at him, a gasp pushing its way out of his chest.

“Relax, Jesse,” Tulip murmurs, and he looks up to find her staring at him with a satisfied little smile. “You’re stiff as a damn board. It’s okay. We’re both here.”

Her observation is right, of course, though he hadn’t even realized—his shoulders hurt from how tense he’s been keeping himself. Both his hands are fisted tightly into the bed coverings, his knuckles white. He struggles to ease himself out of it, allow himself to sink, drift off with the warm, wet sensation of Cassidy’s mouth—but so much about this is still such unfamiliar territory, and it’s not until he looks back at Tulip that his hands uncurl. She’s still watching him, imperious and calm, her legs spread as casually as she might be at home on some lazy Sunday afternoon, playing video games. Keeping her eyes locked on his, she draws one hand down the silk folds of her robe and reaches slowly, deliberately, into her panties.

Jesse swallows some of his trepidation and shifts his hips forward a little, taking distant pleasure in the way Cassidy moans as he does so, the vibration of it drawing a little stuttering breath from his lips. He can see the arch of Tulip’s fingers through dampening fabric as she slides them up and down; he watches the subtle shift in her weight, the way she bites her lower lip, the possessive roam of her eyes over him and Cassidy both. She rocks into her hand and lets out a sigh, her perfectly placid exterior rippling ever so slightly.

As though somehow sensing the moment to be right, Cassidy takes him in deeper, nearly to the back of his throat. Another strangled noise rips out of Jesse, and he reaches out without even thinking, one hand going automatically to the back of Cassidy’s head. He lifts his hand back immediately, alarmed by how abruptly it happened, without knowing if it would be allowed. Cassidy makes a muffled grunt of protest and reels back; Jesse inhales sharply at the sudden cold air on wet, sensitive skin.

“You’re not gonna hurt me, Jess,” says Cassidy between heavy gasping breaths. He grabs Jesse’s hand and sets it firmly back on his head. “ _Really_. Don’t worry about me, yeah?” His smirk is loose and absolutely lascivious. “Whatever you got, I can take it.”

Jesse’s breath comes out with an audible quiver, and behind Cassidy, he sees Tulip’s look of glazed arousal shift momentarily into a delighted grin. Again, Jesse has to force himself to relax, allowing his fingers to curl into Cassidy’s hair, eventually to grip. Cassidy takes him back in with renewed eagerness, no more taunting or fucking around; now he’s avidly desperate to please, his cheeks hollowing as he sucks Jesse off in earnest.

“ _Fff_ _uck_ —!” Jesse blurts out, and reflexively grips his hair a little harder. Cassidy moans again, and there’s a longing in it that finally wakes Jesse the rest of the way up. He braces his free hand against the mattress, plants his feet, and starts rolling his hips forward in a tautly controlled rhythm, still holding Cassidy by the hair as he thrusts slowly into his mouth. Cassidy answers with a deep, rumbling groan of pleasure Jesse feels all the way down to his toes, curling in his shoes. Tulip catches his eyes again; she’s nearly breathless by now, grinding steadily into her hand, staring at him with so much intensity he feels like that alone could tip him over the edge. She tilts her head back with a moan she might be exaggerating for his benefit, but it does the trick; with a soft growl he bucks a little harder against Cassidy, who takes him fully in stride, grabbing his hips with both hands and pushing to his limit. Jesse barely has time to realize what’s just happened when Cassidy swallows, his throat muscles constricting around the head of his cock. It’s is almost too much, that overwhelming pressure sending an explosion of sensation shooting through his whole body, leaving a feverish heat under his skin. He can’t make a sound, which is probably for the best if they don’t want to get a fuckin’ noise complaint. He’s barely holding together now, his fingers scrubbing hard through Cassidy’s hair while he ruts forward, his eyes fixed on Tulip.

She’s getting close from the looks of it, but she stops herself; instead she shifts forward to the very edge of the seat, plants one foot on the floor, and wraps the other leg around Cassidy’s chest.

Not having expected this, he almost chokes, pulling back off of Jesse—which drags an incredibly embarrassing whine out of him, but fortunately Cassidy is preoccupied with staring down at Tulip’s foot. She leans back, her hands braced on the arm rests, smiling rather benevolently down at him.

“You didn’t think we were just gonna leave you hangin’ there, did you?” she says. She leans forward, gripping the arm rests tighter to keep her balance as she looks down Cassidy’s front. As Jesse watches and Cassidy’s breath quickens steadily, Tulip carefully slides her foot down to the visible bulge between his legs. Cassidy reaches down with frantic, clumsy motions to open his jeans up, but Tulip, her target now acquired, is already settling back into the chair comfortably. Before he can get his fingers to cooperate, she’s already curving her foot down, pressing slowly against his trapped cock and easing gently back and forth. He lets out a furiously strained groan and redoubles his efforts. Tulip just lounges, queen-like, watching his struggle with enormous amusement.

“This good?” she says casually, and he lets out a string of unintelligible curses.

“Jus—Just let me—” His relief comes out in a gasp when he finally gets himself unzipped, though Tulip stops him from going further, content to massage him through his briefs.

“Jesse’s waiting for you,” she coos. “Be a good boy, now.”

Cassidy makes a plaintive little sound, and Jesse strokes his hair gently before drawing him back in. It’s amazing how quickly he fell into step with this, after all that buildup; but with Tulip there, setting the stage and the tone, guiding him, knowing exactly how to bring him to his proverbial knees without even laying a finger on him—it’s as natural as anything. He shifts his focus to Cassidy, who is no less eager than he was, though with his attention now divided, he’s a little more sloppy, a little more desperate. Jesse finds he doesn’t mind it. They’re on even ground now.

As they fall into sync with one another, Tulip’s orchestration becomes clear. She controls Cassidy now, teasing him closer to the brink with every deft move she makes; and by extension, she controls Jesse as well. She can decide now whether to disrupt Cassidy’s rhythm and so extend the moment. It’s all Jesse can do to watch her, amazed, overwhelmed by her. She looks as relaxed as anything, massaging him nice and slow while he moans around Jesse’s cock; then, finally, she slips her hand down between her legs again. This time she strokes herself with far greater intent, her motions sharper, more precise. She means business now. She continues to study each of them with a passive detachment that is somehow staggeringly erotic—Cassidy, squirming beneath her even as he swallows around Jesse; Jesse, his fingers tight in Cassidy’s hair, breathing hard through gritted teeth, struggling to last. His eyes are on her.

“I see you holdin’ back, Jesse,” she says, her voice low and rough. “C’mon, now. He’s bein’ so good for you.” She sucks in a sharp breath and leans her foot a little harder against Cassidy, drawing a garbled moan. “I _know_ he can take it harder.”

Now nearly beside himself, Cassidy groans, low and long and pleading, in extremely evident agreement. He swallows again, his tongue still curling and laving against him, wanton and frantic and so, so good.

Trembling, buzzing in all his extremities, Jesse does as he’s told, holding Cassidy steady as he gives way and wholeheartedly fucks his mouth. Cassidy takes him hungrily, still sucking and swallowing as much as he can, effectively helpless under their dual efforts. He looks so fucking good there, like he’s _always_ belonged there, between them and at their mercy. With the last of his restraint finally shed away, Jesse feels himself rapidly approaching the point of no return. His motions start growing erratic, and his grip loosens.

“Cass,” he says, his voice barely standing out against his rapid, heavy breathing, but urgent nonetheless. “Cass, I’m—I’m gonna—”

He tries to pull out, reaching blindly for the towel, but Cassidy grabs his hips forcefully, holding him in place, and sucks him once, long and slow. Jesse can’t hold back any longer; with a strained cry he comes, and without hesitation, Cassidy swallows it.

Jesse stares at him in disbelief, taking ragged breaths, trembling as he comes down in pieces. Cassidy pulls back gingerly and looks up at him, dazed and happy.

“You didn’t have to,” Jesse says haltingly.

Cassidy shrugs, then grunts sharply as Tulip presses her foot harder down against him. With visible effort, he says, “I _wanted_ to.”

Tulip is distracted by now, Jesse can see that, nearing her own climax and no longer fully focused on Cassidy. Jesse doesn’t stop to think. He leans down and kisses Cassidy fast and deep, breathing hard against him, tasting himself on his lips; then he sinks down into the crowded space between the bed and the chair. Tulip pulls back immediately to allow them room, slumping back into the chair with a sigh; Jesse spits into his hand and wraps it around Cassidy’s cock, drawing a startled yelp.

“Oh fuck, _oh_ , _fff_ _fuck_ ,” Cassidy breathes, tipping forward until his head is pressed against Jesse’s shoulder. Jesse jerks him off with quick, deft motions— _this_ , at least, is something he knows how to do. He squeezes just enough to make him whimper, his thumb pressing down against the head, and Cassidy grips his shoulders so tight it’s sure to bruise.

Jesse’s eyes drift to Tulip, who’s still fucking into her hand while she watches them, flushed and gasping, nearly there now. He smirks at her, cupping his free hand around the back of Cassidy’s head to hold him in place against his shoulder. He squeezes his cock a little harder, eliciting a shrill whine.

“You wanna come?” Jesse asks him, growling against his ear.

“ _P_ _lease_ ,” he begs.

Jesse looks to Tulip, an unspoken request for her permission. She stares back as she finally pushes herself over the edge, then grips the arm of the chair and curls inward, sucking in deep breaths and shivering as the waves of it roll over her. Jesse wants so badly to reach out and touch her, but he keeps his hands where they are. Not until she allows it.

Tulip recovers slowly, limp and shiny with sweat, and Jesse waits it out, holding Cassidy at bay. She surveys them both from her perch, Jesse poised and ready, Cassidy shaking and twitching. “Do it,” she says at last.

Jesse immediately resumes jerking Cassidy off, reaching out with his free hand to grab the towel off the bed; Tulip leans forward and wraps her arms around Cassidy, reaching down to thumb lazily at his nipples through his shirt. It might be that which does him in, finally; either way, Cassidy’s back arches and he lets out a nearly voiceless cry as he comes, shuddering violently, into the towel.

He collapses onto Jesse and Tulip slips right off the chair with him. Jesse wraps his arms around them both, and for several moments they just breathe, curled around each other, limp and boneless and sweaty and exhausted.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Cassidy remarks eventually.

“Mmh.” Tulip stretches and then extricates herself first, stepping out of their nest and pushing the chair out of the way to give them a bit more space. Jesse can see her wobbling a bit. She unwraps the towel, shaking out her hair with a little spray of water, then turns back to them and holds out both hands. “Come on,” she says. “I want that cuddle now.”

Jesse takes her left hand and, after a moment to recollect himself, Cassidy takes the right. She helps them climb to their feet, and then, moving more or less in unison, the three of them collapse onto the bed. The last and only time they shared a bed was awkward as hell, Jesse slotted in between them like some kind of gatekeeper, then having no idea either how Cassidy felt about Tulip, or for that matter how he felt about Cassidy. Now, he lies between them again, and it’s nothing like it was before. They both curl around him like cats, Tulip practically purring in his ear.

“So,” Cassidy says, sounding incredibly drowsy. “How’d that pan out for ya?”

Jesse can’t resist a little shrug and a half-hearted, “It was all right,” which draws a good-natured punch in the arm from Tulip and an affronted little “ _Ow_!” from him.

“It was fuckin’ great,” says Cassidy with a big grin.

“Mm, we’ll have to do it again sometime,” says Tulip. She draws lazy little patterns with the tip of her finger against Jesse’s undershirt. “I’d say you’re well on your way to making it all up to us,” she adds loftily.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” says Cassidy. “I’m still owed you in a strap-on.”

“Fuck’s sake.” Jesse raises a hand to cover his eyes.

“Look, I don’t make the rules, okay, I just know _someone’s_ gettin’ pegged.”

“I love you guys,” Tulip sighs happily, and it’s the unequivocality of that happiness that draws Jesse to lower his hand and look at her. There she is, bright and beaming, sleepy and beautiful and _alive_ , and happy.

“I love you, Tulip,” Cassidy murmurs dreamily against Jesse’s shoulder, taking the words right out of his mouth.

Well, no reason he can’t add onto the sentiment. Sort of the whole idea, isn’t it? “I love you too, Tulip,” he says, giving her a little kiss on the brow.

She’s quiet for a moment, her eyes flicking between them. “Is that all?”

Jesse blinks at her, for a moment genuinely not understanding the question.

“Oh, I dunno if we’re ready for that yet,” says Cassidy mildly.

Having now put it together, Jesse is inclined to agree, but hearing it from Cassidy first feels like nothing but a challenge. Jesse looks at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he demands. “I’m ready.”

“Oh, are you.”

“Yeah!” Jesse is not, in any way, ready. He _is_ still very much riding the high of an incredible orgasm, and he is also every bit as preternaturally stubborn as he’s always been. He fixes Cassidy with a solid look, taking in the whole of his face before he says, quite firmly, “I love you, Cass.”

There’s a moment of quiet. The air conditioner rattles loudly.

Jesse looks away. “I wasn’t ready,” he concedes.

“No,” says Cassidy, already deteriorating into laughter. “No, padre, that sounded right awful.”

“Sounded like you were _selling_ something,” says Tulip with a dismayed sort of amazement.

“You gotta pace yourself,” says Cassidy as his laughter subsides. “You’ve a bloody good cock and you give a very nice handjob. That’s good enough for now.”

“I just thought…” Jesse grumbles, but he knows they’re right. The sentiment may in fact be true, but he’s in no position to know that for sure; and even if it is true, that doesn’t make it any easier to pronounce without swamping it in self-consciousness. It’ll take time, time he’s never had to contend with before—with Tulip, he always knew.

“Is that air conditioner gonna be like that all damn night?” says Tulip in a burst of irritation.

“It’s that or wake up in a goddamn lake,” Cassidy sighs. He lifts his head, looking groggily at Jesse. “Say, padre, earlier you said we, er, aren’t outta the woods yet. The whole… fucked up voodoo-family-drama woods. What was that about? Do we not just keep moving?”

Tulip’s looking at him too, now, their collective curiosity palpable. Jesse sighs heavily, staring at the ceiling.

“I’m worried it’s not gonna be that simple,” he says quietly. He looks at them each in turn. “We’ll get into it tomorrow. Okay? I promise.” He gives Tulip another quick kiss, and after a moment’s hesitation, he does the same for Cassidy.

“You just wanna sleep,” Tulip accuses. “What is it with men always havin’ to sleep after sex?”

“We’re fuckin’ _tired_ , love,” Cassidy says. “Aren’t you?”

She’s already getting comfortable, settling in next to Jesse and letting her eyes fall shut. “That’s not the point,” she mumbles.

Cassidy doesn’t reply, and within moments they’ve both drifted off. Jesse lies awake for a time, his mind too full, so much newness he doesn’t know how to process yet. There are things on the edge of his awareness that will require his attention soon enough—the question of _what’s next_ , and what they’ll do when their luck runs out—but that’s later. Right now, there’s Tulip, and there’s Cassidy, and they’re _here_ , and the best part is they’ll still be here tomorrow.


End file.
